


Project A$$

by Beckendorf



Series: The simply fabulous anatomy of a one Steven G Rogers [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Butt Jokes, I tried to be funny, M/M, REALLY BAD BUTT JOKES
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-02
Updated: 2013-09-02
Packaged: 2017-12-25 10:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/952109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckendorf/pseuds/Beckendorf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Tony...what is my backside doing on a billboard?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Project A$$

Project A$$

-

It was around 9 o’clock in the morning when Steve Rogers was riding the elevator up to the lounge in Avengers tower. He hadn’t bothered to make himself presentable, still drying the ends of his hair with the old towel wrapped around his shoulders which smelled faintly of Old Spice and Lynx. Normally, he’d never be caught dead with his hair messy, but they’d reached a comfortable sort of trust with each other where he didn’t feel the need to be perfectly neat soldier 95% of the time. Plus Natasha said that the “messy” look was sexy-and he had a genius billionaire boyfriend to please. But also the fact that practically no one was awake around this time of the morning, except Tony who had to go to work.

It had become a norm in the Avengers tower for people to be awake or asleep at extremely odd hours. For the early risers, they would catch the all-nighters just beginning their daily requirement of sleep, and for the late sleepers, they would just emerge from their floors at any time they felt it was necessary to present themselves to the world. Namely Clint Barton. It was rare that everyone in the tower was awake at the same time unless it was a team bonding night, meeting or the world needed saving. Or something really strange had cropped up.

Steve woke up at a moderately regular time, normally coming up for breakfast around 9 having finished his morning jog and post jog shower. The breakfast room was usually deserted, meaning he had the whole lounge and tv to himself until someone came up. It was perfect for the little bit of calm, alone time he needed before the hectic tests of the day. Training the team, lunch with the team, tv channel fighting, hiding from Coulson. That sort of thing.

His long elevator ride of life contemplation ended and he stepped out into the lounge area, surprised to see almost everyone up; the first sign of utter bizarre occurrences or dire circumstances. In other words, it meant you needed to run. Fast. 

Steve had barely stepped inside when Clint suddenly appeared in front of him, having just jumped off the fridge. Clint? Awake and jumping about? Before half 3 in the afternoon? Definitely something strange.  “Oh! Steve, uh, morning!” He seemed a little jerkier than usual, biting his lip as if he was restraining himself from saying something. It had taken a few months for Clint to warm up to them after the Loki incident, so they knew he tended to stray onto the awkward side of the spectrum, but not like this. 

“Morning Clint.” He said with an easy smile. “What’s going on”?

“Oh…nothing…just the usual. Hey uh would you happen to know anything about Stark’s new ad campaign? Since you’re screwing him and all.” Well that wasn't suspicious, so something strange was definitely going on. 

Steve sputtered with a little blush rising to his cheeks before frowning. “No…he hasn’t mentioned anything.” And it was to do with Tony, whatever it was.

“Oh…Okay.” Clint replied, running a hand through his hair, momentarily distracted. 

“Why?” Steve was hoping the archer would give him a clean answer, but when he caught site of Bruce walking in, he knew he had a better chance with him. 

“Clint is Steve up ye-oh. Morning Steve.” Bruce said, rubbing his neck. “Uh have you looked out of the window lately?” The window? What on earth could that mean? Oh gosh he hoped it wasn’t anything too big.

“Well I didn’t really have a chance…I went on my jog this morning.” He raised a questioning eyebrow.

“Oh did you uh see anything unusual?”

“Like a giant ass…” Clint muttered, covering his laugh with a cough. This was followed by a cry of pain as Natasha wacked him across the head. Bruce rolled his eyes, hoping Steve hadn’t heard.

“Well…not that I can recall. I usually take quite an outlandish route….why?” So the thing must involve him as everyone was handling him with Kid-gloves. They were probably hiding something painful.  Well it didn’t look like a villain or an attack. So something else then. It could be a bizarre circumstance or a sure situation, now that he knew Tong was involved. A small part of him was hoping this was just a very roundabout way of Tony proposing to him. But that wouldn’t happen. At least not yet.

Bruce looked at the others, with Natasha giving a small nod. “I think it’s better we show you…” He said, walking out to the large windows at the end of the lounge. The very same ones Tony had been thrown out of not less than a year ago. Steve followed with a frown as his neck became tense with the anxiety of what was to come. 

“Take a look outside…”

“Yeah, you can’t miss it. It will literally hit you straight in your face.” Clint said, unable to contain his laughter.

Now Steve was really worried as he furiously scanned the New York skyline.  At first, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to be seeing. Until his eyes caught on something large and blue that had most definitely _not_ been there the previous evening.  He could feel his cheeks going red.

The billboard that often had a picture of Iron Man promoting Stark Industries was now replaced with a particularly high definition image of a pair of buttocks in skin tight blue lycra. Very familiar skin-tight blue lycra. It was practically in 3 dimensions.

Steve was nearing beetroot when he realised exactly whose buttocks those were. There was a rainbow in the corner in support of gay pride with several other sponsors logo. They were placed strategically, obvious but not so to distract you from the-ah…main event.

“Steve…I’m guessing you didn’t know about this.”  Bruce was next to him, a hand resting on his shoulder.

“…No, he never mentioned it.” Steve looked away, his face now completely red. Whether it was with anger or embarrassment was still to be revealed.

“Well it’s one hell of an advertisement. Or should I say _ass_ mertisment.” This was once again followed by an “ow” as Clint was wacked by Natasha.

“This is so embarrassing…” He said covering his face.

“Well it’s good publicity.”

“Buttlicity.” Said Clint with a laugh. Another groan.

“Stick to your day job Barton it will benefit us all.”

“I need to talk to him about this.” He said, ignoring the other two as he made his way to the elevator, fists clenched. The doors opened revealing a very unruly Thor who had just woken up.

“Dear Captain! Have you seen Friend Tony’s new advertisement? I highly approve of it, I do not think I have ever see such a beautifully crafted set of rear muscles!”

Steve smiled weakly.  “Uhm….thank you?”

“At least we know what he appreciates. Or should I say asspreciates.” Clint said, slinging an arm around Steve’s shoulders.

“Yes, but this is still not acceptable under any circumstances! What if people find out? They-they’ll probably recognise it. From when I…ugh…fight.”

“Coulson will probably castrate Stark…”

Natasha nodded. They could all see the headlines, “Captain America-as innocent as he seems?. Then there would be some rant about how he was supposed to stand for all good things in America and this certainly wasn’t part of that contract.  And then someone will probably call him a bible-basher. This was going to be so bad for his image.

“I have to stop this.”

“Or you could just flex less in fights?” Clint said with a shrug with Steve giving him a hard glare. “Aw come on, it is distracting watching his ass move under that skin tight suit.” Natasha raised an eyebrow whilst Bruce looked away. Thor was attacking the toaster, completely cut off from their conversation. Well that's the impression he gave, he was just trying to contain his laughter really.

Steve shook his head in an agitated fashion and entered the elevator; making his way down to the level he knew Tony’s office was located.  He couldn’t even begin to think of the embarrassment. Sure he’d been marketed before when all people were (and in some cases, still are) interested in were his abs. But this was just a little too promiscuous. And besides, if Tony was willing to do something like paste a photo of his boyfriend’s behind in the public eye, why wouldn’t he come out with their relationship! 

The elevator finally stopped at the 15th floor and Steve stormed out, startling the many employees shuffling around. They all stood still, gawking at him. It was only then he realised he was still in his shorts and vest from earlier, bare footed with just a towel around his neck.

“Uh…Good Morning everyone, I just…need to see Mr Stark. Team business. He…uh…missed training this morning so if you’ll excuse me….” He walked past with a nod to all the staring employees, approaching the large double doors with Tony’s name on them.

He took in a sharp breath before pushing them open.

“Tony we need to talk…”

\--

No one ever said that Tony Stark wasn’t generous. And this was possibly one of the best gifts he’d ever decided to give. He didn’t like sharing, especially something that was rightfully his. But this was one way of giving the city something that they would be blessed with without having to physically hand it over. Win-win either way.  

Now it was just a matter of time before the rest of the city saw it. And Steve. He was sure he was going to love it. He was at least 60% sure he would.

He’d happily spent a whole morning admiring the billboard currently displaying Steve’s ass, waiting for the moment the owner was sure to come down and tell him how it was an awesome idea. And then maybe something kinky would follow on his desk. No harm done in keeping your hopes up.

It was after a few hours of torturous waiting that the sound he’d been waiting to hear entered his ears; the sound of his door opening and Steve’s heavy footfalls padding in. He turned to greet his happy (and hopefully horny) boyfriend.

“Tony…we need to talk…”

“Then talk, did you see the advertisement? Pretty awesome right?”

"...Yes, but Tony…what is my backside doing on a billboard?”

“Glorifying it.”

Steve sighed, “Tony…you should have asked me before you did that. It’s a direct breach of my privacy!”

“Well I knew you’d say no so I took a chance…”

“Well if you knew I’d say no then why did you do it? And where did you get that image anyway?”

 “My armour can be pretty handy in a fight”

Steve gave him a look as if to say “Seriously? In a fight, when we’re supposed to be focusing on eradicating the enemy, you’re spending your time taking photos of my as-behind.”

“Hey I can multi-task! Anyway, I’m seeing a lot more depressing talking and a lot less desk fucking.”

“Tony! You have to take that down! It’s embarrassing and I don’t like it.”

“Well you know what my policy is, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Plus it’s all part of my plan.”

Steve shook his head, resting a palm on his forehead before looking up at Tony.  “Your…plan?”

“Yes, I call it project A$$.”

“Project A-dollar sign-dollar sign?” Steve said, confused.

“Yes but I personally prefer to call it Project ASS.”

“…And this plan involves putting my backside on an advertisement?”

 “Well…you always said how you wanted to be more open about our relationship….”

“Oh Tony-“Steve began, in that passion filled voice he always got whenever Tony did something remotely romantic.

“I just…thought maybe I could do it in a big way…show that I was proud-and I am, proud, to be your boyfriend.”

Steve laughed. “And you decided to do it by putting my ASSS on a billboard?”

“…well that and I wanted to show that Stark Industries is in support of gay people and gay employees.” He looked up and locked eyes with Steve before looking away. “Well, if you don’t like it, I guess I’ll have it taken down then.” Tony’s face fell, his voice sounding genuinely disheartened.

“No Tony….I…I love it. It’s great. I’m happy you wanted to go public with us…” He said, striding over and capturing the man in a passionate kiss. “I love you Tony, even when you do crazy things like this.” Maybe he could learn to love the sign. He realised this was exactly what he’d signed up for when he’d started dating Tony. And boy, that was one decision he was sure to never regret.

Tony smiled against Steve’s lips, hands reaching around to grope his million dollar prize. It was probably best not to tell Steve his Ass was now technically a franchise. Or about the millions of posters being printed ready for sale (and the signed one Coulson was going to get for his birthday). All profits were going to charity, of course.

He fingered the ring in his pocket and decided it would be best to tell him then. Yes, a proposal and the confessions of the Franchise. Or should he say, Frasschise. 


End file.
